Introduction of Kevin J.


By Kevin Jacobson

Like, OMG!!11!!1!

Well, I was just sitting in my living room the other day, and then I go online and start chatting with Patrick. He's like, "Hey, come on, we need some rants". And I was like, "Ok, whatever." Yeah, all my past rants were on the other site we had. the much less cool site. or more cool, whatever floats your boat. I hate that saying, especially since my friend always says after it: "as long as it's not in my lake". Oh, yeah, well anyways.

So here I am, making a rant about how I make rants sometimes. I guess it doesn't get much more interesting than that, so I'll put in some random things here to help you get through the day.

Things to remember:

1. Never test the depth of a lake using both feet at the same time. That wood bee stupd.

2. Grandmas are not always feeble and helpless. I saw a commercial where a grandma kicked the butts of these ninjas. Keep that in mind next time you want to "oldnap" someone.

3. John Kerry's wife is ugly

4. Laughing at Martha Stewart makes many problems go away

5. If you can't tell what gender someone is by looking at him or her for 10 seconds.. They're not attractive, no matter what gender they turn out to be.

6. And lastly, any rant written by Matt is probably overly offensive to mothers and small children, so if you can't tolerate incessant cursing, please steer clear of them. You'll know exactly which ones he writes because he's the only one who even swears in the title, for Michael Jackson's sake. Oh, sorry, that's kind of an insult. I better edit that.

Ok, so sorry about all that crap, just kinda introducing myself, I'll have some funny/ interesting rants later on, I promise. ^^;;..

The End








© Patrick Shawn Tonkinson
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